I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
