I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me