lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
