I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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