They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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