Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
