Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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