i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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