All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
