just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
