I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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