She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
