Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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