Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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