10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
