her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
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Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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