Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
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some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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