Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize