I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize