There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
