If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
