I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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