By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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