Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
