i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
