Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
