We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
