so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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