I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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