Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
