you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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