better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize