He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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