I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
