Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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