your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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