i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
