jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
