did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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