They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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