hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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