I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
