My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
