drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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