Where did you get a picture of my penis
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
