i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
