found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
