i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
