I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
