are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
