when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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