I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
