Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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