Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
