You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
