it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize