We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize