I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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