I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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