Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
