If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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