The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
