When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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