I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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