I want to stick my p in your. b.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
