She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
